Honor your father and mother that your days may be prolonged in the land that the Lord your God gives you. -Exodus 20:12
A child's relationship with his/her parents is a very important and God ordained relationship, one that must not be taken lightly. So important to God, that He makes sure to include a commandment about this relationship in the 10 commandments that He gave to Israel. We are commanded to always honor our father and mother as we live on this earth. In all cases and circumstances this is how a child should be toward their parents. We must respect and honor our parents because God has put them as authorities over our lives. Not to mention, that they bore you, and in the majority of cases (provide for you and raise you)! So important is this relationship that God made sure to lay out the punishment for dishonor of parents. In Exodus 21:15 and 17, He points out that dishonor, cursing, striking of father or mother receives the consequence of death! That consequence should speak volumes to everyone who considers it, this relationship is very important and must be guided by respect and honor throughout one's life!
I very much understand that every parent-child relationship is ideal in this world of sin and death. Throughout my life i have struggled with my relationship with my dad, which i know many out there have that same problem. I have had a lot of trouble respecting him and honoring him at times in my life and as of right now pretty much don't have any kind of relationship with him other than visiting on holidays and phone calls on birthdays. Since my parents divorce when i was 6, the relationship i have with my father has declined more an d more up until the point i am now which has been this same routine for about 4 years. I have various reasons as to why the relationship is how it is now. His abuse of my mom verbally every time i visited him was heartbreaking to take for 10 or so years. His use of alcohol was also hurtful to myself and my brother, which included some phone calls in which he was drunk (those were very very harmful)! His very conditional love throughout my life was not a picture of how things are supposed to be. Then came when i started to commit my life to Christ, his harsh comments about talking to myself (prayer), comments about how pointless what i was doing is, etc. All of these things combined in my life and interactions with my dad led me to a point where i just could not respect or honor him anymore which also led to me interacting with him less and less.
Through all of that hurt and abuse I was truly hateful to my dad. I tried my best to just put everything aside but something innate inside me (I call this the Holy Spirit) has been telling me for a year or so now that I need to establish a relationship with my dad. He is an unbeliever, and what could be better for an unbeliever than for God to use a believing son's interaction with their father to bring him to God! I also feel that a relationship with my dad is how its supposed to be according to God's Will and plan in my life as i can see it in Scripture and through prayer. All people are called to have a relationship of honor and respect with their parents, no matter what the circumstance are. Caring for my father is a burden on my heart but its going to be tough to get to the point where I can endure and possibly have a positive impact on him, and maybe lead him to Christ which is the number one thing he needs, SAVING GRACE! I hope to gain that relationship with him and follow Scripture in caring for him and providing for him in his later years when that comes for we are commanded to care and provide for our own and our household (1 Timothy 5:8). I certainly hope to develop this relationship as soon as possible beginning Thursday morning when i plan on going out on the golf course with my dad for the first time in a long time, I would really appreciate the prayers for God's grace to cover our interactions! PRAISE GOD FOR HIS GRACE IN MY LIFE AND FOR HIS GUIDING SPIRIT!
Matt 15:4-9
4 "For God said, 'HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER,' and, 'HE WHO SPEAKS EVIL OF FATHER OR MOTHER IS TO BE PUT TO DEATH.' 5 "But you say, 'Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God," 6 he is not to honor his father or his mother.' And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition. 7 "You hypocrites, rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you:
8 'THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS,
BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME.
9 'BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME,
TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.'"
Everyone should take Jesus' words to heart!
As for a good example of honoring within the household... I particularly have the privilege to see a very Godly family interact as often as i get the chance. I know a godly young lady who truly exemplifies honor and respect to her parents (I am sure she still has trouble at times but the point remains). In everything in her life, as a young adult still living at home at this point in time, she seeks her parents' wisdom and blessing. Its truly very cool to hear about and watch. She respects and honors her parents (especially her dads) thoughts and wisdom on things she is going through, decisions she is making, relationships she has developed, etc that when it seems she is not lining up with the direction or wisdom that her parents have given, she is saddened. Seeking their wisdom and honoring their thoughts is central to her life. This is a good picture of honor and respect for parents I think. It may be somewhat extreme to some people but God has ordained parental relationships for a purpose. Wisdom comes from parents!
My son, keep your father's command, and do not forsake the law of your mother. Bind them continually upon your heart, tie them around your neck. When you roam, they will lead you; when you sleep, they will keep you; and when you awake, they will speak with you. - Proverbs 6:20-22
I definitely do not want to take for granted such an ordained relationship in my life! Praise God for His grace and His word to lead us down the right path in our relationships, the path that was ordained to be from the beginning!
God Bless y'all!
Brian
Soli Deo Gloria
