Therefore David inquired of the Lord---2 Samuel 5:23
God has worked throughout my life with in so many astounding circumstances and situations, that i can do nothing less than thank Him with all I have! He is the reason I live, truly the reason why I am where I am right now in my pursuit of Him, living by His grace! My life has been marked by grace and mercy, it has been guided by the Lord, and I have seen Him work in so many amazing ways through answering my inquiries and prayers. The deluge of His grace is truly indescribable... I have no other proclamation in my soul than to sing AMAZING GRACE!
David inquired of the Lord about fighting the Philistines... this was after a winning battle against those same Philistines, an onslaught of sorts! Even after one of His greatest victories that the Lord had granted Him, David made sure to seek the Lord and His Will and plan for this next battle. This is truly trust and faith in the Lord, such trust to not make a move without asking the Lord what His plan is. I have been striving to have this character in my life for the past several years, and by His grace, my life has been characterized by and guided by seeking out His Will and what He has planned that is best for me in each stage and season of life. My life was not always characterized by this principle of seeking His Will out, but God guided me to this point and has been sanctifying me to the point of being able to live this principle out wholeheartedly. How has God brought me to this point? Simple... by opening my eyes to His Amazing Grace and guiding me out of my sin loving lifestyle and into Christ's loving arms so that I can do His Will.
I grew up in a non-Christian household for my first six years of my life. I cant remember much about those years but I do know they were probably characterized by fights between parents and other family members, for my parents divorced at my young age of 6. My mom took me off to live with her and my brother about 15 minutes up the road from my dad. I was utterly devastated, but God had other plans for me. By His great plan for me and my family, He brought my mom to go to church after the divorce and she pulled me along with her and my brother. We were both Saved by God's grace that year, I being 6, but i sure did not display the fruit of salvation for many years to come.
From that point on, for the next 8 or so years of my life, it was rough going for me. I did not have many friends at all and if i did have any, they were superficial friends. My school life was horrible from elementary school on into middle school and even into high school, the same jokes and abuses followed me all the way through. I was accused of being gay for most of that time, the object of much verbal and even physical abuse at school. I was even abused for my religion, even though i did most of the talk but never really walked the walk as far as being Christlike goes. I was by far not the worst kid in school, I was looked to as a very good kid compared to all others, and was even verbally insulted for that. I also throughout High School had never gotten a girlfriend or even decided to pursue such a relationship, which even more added to the notion that I was gay. My church life was nonexistent, as I went to visit my dad every weekend and used that as an opportunity to not go to church on Sundays since I absolutely hated it throughout this time period in my life. I always fought my mom on going to church on Wednesday nights as well, but my mom made sure I went, which I am so thankful for to this day. This definitely was the dark time in my life which led to so many things in my thoughts and desires, also led to sinful habits which I would be fighting to this day if God had not stepped in and Opened My Eyes to His love and Grace and moved me into an unbelievable relationship with Him!
God grabbed hold of me at around the age of 14 or so. My mom kept making me go to church and i slowly grew weary of visiting my dad on the weekends which led to me attending church more. God brought a young man into my life as a youth pastor and mentor during this season in my life and I am eternally thankful for how God used this man in my life. Pastor Josh saw something in me that I never saw and I saw something in him that I wanted dearly, I am still not sure to this day what drew me to him, but I can definitely say that it was a God thing. One night I wholly rededicated my life to Christ and truly began to show the fruit of real salvation and trust in my Lord Jesus Christ. I developed a love for God's Word and His work, His ministry. I was put into a leadership position in the youth group and was so happy to serve in God's Work. God continued to sanctify me and free me from such habitual sin I had in the past. During this time though, I was very weary and unsure of what God had in store for me, or what He wanted me to do with my life! I knew He had a plan, yet i wasn't sure what that could be. So I INQUIRED OF THE LORD! I prayed every night for His Will, to know His Will, for Him to guide me for about two years before He showed me so clearly what He would have me do. Before He showed me, I was very much set on going to a technical college and becoming an electronics engineer or even a pro golfer, but Oh did God have bigger plans for me. He showed me through a young man at a church camp one year (this young man was about 14 and I 16 or 17 during this camp)... God showed me the true love of Christ through intense servant-hood through this young man. God showed me the potential young people have that can be tapped into when they truly love Christ with all their being! So after two years of Inquiry of the Lord, God revealed to me that He wanted me in the ministry, primarily to young people at this time. He also gave me the grace to trust His decision and plan for my life, so I began seeking out Bible Colleges. Now i am at Washington Bible College/Capital Bible Seminary seeking out my Master of Theology Degree trusting God for what He has next. But thats not all, Christ really has moved me even more in sanctification and faith throughout these past couple years here.
If you abide in Me and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you --- John 15:7
Inquiry continued for me in several different areas throughout the next couple years of school into my college years. Such inquiries of the Lord began way back at age 15 or so... Since I never had a girlfriend and was always ridiculed for such, I had began seeking the Lord in the area of relationships and marriage.. asking Him to prepare for me a wife, and to show her to me. You see, this was a noble inquiry but with selfish means. I did not fully trust Him in this inquiry either. I began seeking out relationships with girls unwisely at the beginning of my college years, never made it to bf/gf relationship, and regret doing so even though By GODS GRACE, one or two of those relationships became good friendships, even after my unwise immature moves. God used this time to show me that my inquiry was not what i should be desiring at least not in such a selfish manner as I had been. He showed me the err of my ways and led me to learn that I need to reevaluate my motives and truly, unselfishly, seek what He has for me as far as relationships go. This was a very tough breeding time of patience and diligence in seeking Him, that continues to this day. Another thing I had been praying for was a true friendship, a true biblical friendship, where one is closer than a brother or sister. God began to show me what that looks like and brought such a friend to me in the past year and a half or so. Why and How did He do this for me? I finally had moved my desires to what He desires for me, and He did those things for me as He had planned and in His timing. (John 15:7)
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart--- Psalm 37:4
One more thing that He did show me that I needed to do is FIRST delight myself in Him and His word, seeking His Will, then the desires of my heart will come to pass. I began to dig more into His word and He molded my desires into unselfish noble desires which were characterized by Godliness and O did He open the floodgates then. He brought an amazing friend into my life. Our friendship is characterized by true biblical fellowship, care for one another, and keeping Christ central. He has also brought wisdom into this friendship in the most amazing way and I am so thankful for that as well! He has developed in me patience and kindness and more love for His people, a true unselfish care for my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been able to display such care in the friendship He so provided me with, a truly awesome sibling relationship full of Christ who is the center of it all, ALL BY HIS GRACE! I am eternally thankful to my amazing Savior and Lord for such answers to prayer and He continues to amaze me everyday!
Even in all of this, He has not ceased to reveal to me what I should be asking for and seeking next in my life. He has give me such a desire now to seek out how I can prepare for the future. He has put on my heart to seek out how to become and mature into a Godly Man, in preparation for ministry and in preparation for marriage whenever He may have that in store for me (all in His Perfect Will and Timing!). He has also provided the means to do such a search... constantly bringing to me sources of learning; a mentor, sermons and articles (that i randomly find on the internet without even looking), Godly Wisdom all around! He is truly preparing me for something great and I owe my all to Him!
As i move forward in my life, I look back and I know i need to especially thank certain people as God has used them greatly in my development into a lover and servant of Christ. I must thank my mom for her persistence in getting me to church, her preservation of me throughout my young years (she as a single mom), and much much more to this day from her. I must thank Pastor Josh for showing me what potential I had and giving me guidance and mentoring as needed. MOST OF ALL.. I must thank JESUS CHRIST for His perfect sacrifice and His pursuit of me! He is my all in all and the only reason I have the ability to write this blog post! I am eternally thankful for Him, and don't know where i would be without His AMAZING GRACE!
HIS GRACE ALONE HAS SAVED ME and CONTINUES TO SUSTAIN ME!
Sin has been hammering my heart unto a hardness, void of love, Let supplying grace to cross his art drop from above.
That is my hearts cry... without His grace to sustain me, preserve me, sanctify me, guide me, lead me, I would not be where I am now in a joyful and content state living for Him! Jesus Paid it All and I owe all to Him!
Soli Deo Gloria
My goal of this blog is to let God speak through me by His grace as i ponder and study His Scriptures... that is my prayer!
OPEN MY EYES THAT I MAY SEE WONDROUS THINGS FROM YOUR LAW --- PSALM 119:18
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